At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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