How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
