Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
