I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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