ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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