I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He has the fingertips of a God
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