i think i have two assholes
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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