then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
