She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
