the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
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