Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
