I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
