people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Randomize
