lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
