His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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