He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
