Do vagina's smell?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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