You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize