Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
