I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
