You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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