It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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