i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
