Screwed.edu
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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