That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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