I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So many bounce houses so little time
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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