she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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