I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
