how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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