at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
