Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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