Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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