He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
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I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
porn star boner night. come get it.
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just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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