Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
