just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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