i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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