Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
