lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
