I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The air taste purple.
Randomize
