Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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