the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
