yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
