I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Barsexuality is the new black.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
