we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
