Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
