Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
