3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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