ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
