Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
