I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize