Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
