i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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