Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
