i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
