how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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