Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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