If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
