So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
