You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
