there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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