im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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