A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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