respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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