I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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