The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
