dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
