i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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