Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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