I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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