you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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