there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dear god my vagina.
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