so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
